Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Today I'm ungrateful for pimples...don't pop it Bri..be strong!!

Now this is silly.  I wrote an "ungrateful" blog on Sunday basically suggesting that I was ungrateful for ungrateful people. Yeeeeesss.  Needless to say, since I was pointing the accusatory finger at myself, I decided to delete that post and start from scratch.  Sometimes I consider myself to be an idiot.  Moving right along.

Today I am ungrateful for having pimples at the tender age of 46.

I've been through the horrific moments of waking up with deep, red burgeoning zits on my nose; however, that was at 15 and the night before yearbook pictures were to be taken.  This rhetorical question is directed towards Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love and Beauty, why now? Why now at this sexy, know-it-all age of confidence and self-awareness? Is there some sort of hidden joke which lands on women my age to which I have not been informed?  Do I sound put off?  Ungrateful perhaps?

Let this be a warning to those partners or spouses who casually wander up while we are scrutinizing our face and tell us that the said "offender" is hardly noticeable.  For your safety, DON'T!  It is and unfortunately will be 10x more obvious when we get through pushing, popping, and extracting.  I'll offer you another bit of advice, do not say another word.  Once we've managed to bring the pimple to its ugliest state imaginable, we'll then try to hide it with make-up.  The lump on our face will have become a crusty, nasty sign which says, "I was a disgusting pimple she tried to cover over with too much make-up."  If she asks you how it looks, LIE!

This morning I tried to reason away my ugly chin acne due to menopause.  Unfortunately, I was outed by a dear friend on Facebook.  Now I have to come clean.  November 13th falls right around the time the Halloween chocolate wreaks havoc on my body; however, I'm 46!  I should be beyond the Milky Way pimples by now for Pete's sake!