The only laughs I received during stand up comedy last summer was when I threatened to undress or complained that I was mistaken for the dowdy half of a lesbian couple. As I started rethinking my direction on stage, life threw me a couple of curve balls in the form of an angry sixteen year old facing felony counts of menacing with an axe and later my falling down a staircase only to break three bones in my ankle.
So here I am again; attempting to find my path. Six Degrees of Separation. It's happening - I hope. I've made a phone call and this phone call has hopefully led to a lunch meeting and this lunch meeting has hopefully led to a celebrity contact, sponsorship, or at least another important connection. I'm focusing positive energy on what I can do and who I am. But I digress, I've been asked to tell a story and a story teller I am. I'll honor my friend's request; however, I'm warning you readers...I may have to water it down because I know I have some kiddos under the age of 21 who peruse my posts from time to time.
And so I begin...
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to help a friend drive her daughter from here - Denver, Colorado - to Michigan Technical University. This school is approximately 1200 miles away and near the Canadian border. Needless to say, I was unprepared - but knowing my friend Cindy - she would attempt that drive back on her own. This scared the Hell out of me. So I checked my schedule, worked it out with my husband, and hit the road with my chain smoking, say-it-like-it-is friend.
I had absolutely no expectations for this trip other than to escape my kids for a over a week and have a chance to see the mid-west. Along the way I decided to move to Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Nebraska (and not necessarily in that order). I've also determined that since Cindy called Cheese curds, "Cheese Turds", I decidedly did not want to try them. Also, Beer Nuts do not taste like Beer. Who knew? Obviously I did not.
I'm extremely embarrassed to say dat I've developed a very funky accent, doncha know. It's drivin' my husban loony as a jaybird an he says ifn' I don stop it, he's gunna whack me on da side o my ead but I'm thinkin' he's fullo it, silly filler! Dose cows do look awful happy tho in Wisconsin!
I can't be trusted to remember my purse no matter where I travel to. Darnit all!
Two women travelin' alone can always be counted on by them there farmers to be lesbians. Ah well, so Cindy and I made a fine, lovely couple doncha know.
Cindy shops more than I ever thought possible. If we weren't shopping for junk food, fast food, diner food, well then dammit, she sure as Hell found found a fine pair of shoes!!
And finally, the watered down part of the story...our last evening..um well, okay. I know that two Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey shots are all I should ever do along with a Vodka drink and that I'm a terribly naughty influence on my dear chain smoking, say-it-like-it-is, friend. I think that's all I better say about that.