Sunday, September 23, 2012

Who has the audacity to challenge "the stare"?

The showdown.  The stare.  The moment when you, as the parent and commander in chief, faces off with the stubborn will and determination of one of your less than agreeable children.  It's never pretty.  In all honesty, it's comparable to visual mental warfare.  Who will snap first?  Who's rage will get the better of them?  Who has the greater win to loss ratio?  Basically, what it all boils down to is - who is the master strategist?

I have a firecracker temper.  As anyone who knows me personally or any of the other female personalities in the Bryant/Baxter family clan, do not cross us.  We're normally light-hearted, loving ladies but once we sense dissention of any sort or (God and Heaven help you) attitude, well then...RUN!  It's not that we like ranting and raving; no, not at all.  Our anger - like our naughtiness - is a trait which has been carried down generations.  My father suffered through four of us, my mother, myself, and two sisters.  My grandfather, the dear man, lived through my grandmother, and SIX daughters.  I can truly say with love and affection that papa's girls - my mother and aunts - are as nutty as pecans.

Back to the stare.  Obviously, I'm the queen bee of this art form in my home.  The boys, including my husband, Eric sometimes feel they have the upper hand with me but not so.  Not only have I mastered it but I've also single-handedly reinstated the old battle phrase, "shock and awe" into the mêlée.  With one ridiculous statement from one of the guys, all that's necessary is to slam my hands on the nearest surface area, sweep my head in a sharp, downward motion as if to say, "Seriously, that's the best you have?", and look up (because I happen to be the shortest member of my family) and give my already intensely blue eyes a glare which would drive a Grizzly Bear back into its cave.

If the offender has the audacity to challenge the stare he will suffer a wrath so horrifying, so compelling that he would be blindsided by its voracity.  The sting would be so severe that the challenger would feel it's consequences for weeks to come.  Now, I must admit - I haven't come out unscathed; however, I've never lost a fight yet either.  I have my strategies.  I know my opponent’s weak spots.  I have control over when they eat and the TV remote controls.