Thursday, August 30, 2012

What died on my tongue?


Now here's a random thought..why do we eat or drink things that leave a nasty taste in our mouth?  I know, odd idea but it occurred to me as I was lying in bed, reading the morning news, and slapping my tongue against the roof of my mouth that it feels as if something curled up and died in there.  I've just completed my candy bar in a bowl (also known as, my morning coffee indulgence) and I realize that this is how my mouth feels every morning; sour, stale, and like I've sucked on cheap chocolate candies for the last twenty minutes.

Will I stop drinking coffee to avoid this disgusting aftertaste?  Hell no!  I live for the entire process of my daily ritual; filling the coffee machine with water, carefully measuring out the grounds and sprinkling them with powdered cinnamon, preparing my bowl with cream, chocolate syrup and artificial sweetener packets, and finally waiting patiently for the coffee to finish brewing.  Oh sweet nectar of the GODS!  My first sip...DIVINE INSPIRATION!

When I smoked, it was the same thing.  I knew how nasty my mouth would taste afterwards, but it wouldn't stop me from lighting up.  The first drag of the cigarette was lovely.  The feel of the smoke through my lungs and out my nose was exhilarating.  The way the cigarette felt between my fingertips was so light and gentle.  Oh, and if my boyfriend wanted to kiss me?  Eeks!  Unless he smoked too, my breath was gruesome.  If you, my dear friends and blog readers, smoke or have ever smoked, I'm certain you know what I'm talking about.

Potato chips!  Another awful aftertaste...ugggh!!  Pringles are the worst.  I believe it's because they're processed, but I can't be sure.  It's because of this that I won't eat these particular chips EVER AGAIN.  Once I have a bad bathroom experience with a specific brand, there's no returning to the scene of the crime (so to speak).

One last observation..and this is a weird one - anyone who's in my generation might remember these and say, "oh yeah..Bri's spot on...".  Wax Lips, Teeth, or Bottles.  Is anyone with me here?  Those awful, nasty "candy" things I felt compelled to buy and suck the flavorless juice out of??  Geez!  The juice left the nastiest aftertaste and I always ended up gagging on the stupid wax.  Why did I continue to invest my money in those awful, nasty "candy" things?  What a dumb ass!

Well, this was a bizarre blog.  I have a serious date with my toothbrush and mouthwash.  Have a great day everyone.