Saturday, August 18, 2012

RUN! Here come those vicious geese!

In the northern Colorado front range, one of the tell-tale signs that Autumn is upon us is the migration of the wild Canadian geese.  I love these birds.  It's a joy when I hear them honking overhead and swarming down into the neighborhood ponds.  You see, my favorite time of the year is fall.  The changing colors, the crisp, cool air, the first snowfall, everything.

In Southern California there are also geese but I have an admission to make; I despise them.  These particular birds are not migratory.  They reside at local ponds all year long and are nasty, evil, villainous creatures which - after years of being tossed bread crumbs and other "people" food - have become spoiled.  They expect park visitors to feed them and if not, they become vicious, or at least - in my opinion, they already are.

My husband, Eric, disagrees with me.  He thinks they're beautiful.  I believe they're like feral dogs; they sense fear and attack those of us who reek of it.  Too many times I've walked along park ponds in Southern California to be unmercifully chased, snapped, and honked at, by these ugly, mutated monsters.  If this isn't embarrassing enough, they don't do it individually, no.  They attack in packs like wolves.  The large, nasty things encircle me forcing me to scream and draw unnecessary attention to myself.  And where is my husband, my knight in shining armour, during this horrifying barrage of beasts?  Where you'd expect him to be, of course - on the sidewalk laughing his ass off.  Lovely.

Just another reason I moved from Southern California; even the damn geese are unpleasant.