Sunday, August 12, 2012

Jello shots and cheesy whiskers..it's all connected.

Last night I attended a wild backyard party at a friend's house.  Now hold your horses dear readers!  I'm certain you're sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for lurid accounts of my drunken debauchery.  Not so.  Nothing could be further from the truth - well, sort of.  I did partake in quite a few jello shots.  For those of you unfamiliar with these silly party gimmicks, they're shots of vodka prepared with flavored Jello which are then unceremoniously slurped down.  This is not a dignified way to enjoy alcohol.  After the 8th or 9th shot, it's downright disgusting. 

What I'm blogging about today is what we do as pet owners to keep our furry ones pristine and "company worthy".  What?  Huh?  RANDOM!  How did I go from a backyard party and jello shots to this topic?  Let me explain.

Yoda, A Character from Star Wars
Last night, several guests brought their small dogs along for the celebration. There was a dachshund and a couple of very entertaining chihuahuas.  One of the chihuahuas was wearing an itty sweater and being held.  The other wasn't quite as small and had quite the personality; his name was Yoda.  The reason behind his name was that he had enormous ears and funky whiskers which practically dragged to the ground.  Other than the "mustache" he was a short-haired dog.

Alas, Yoda found my paper plate of cheese nachos.  His whiskers were drooping under the weight of processed cheese goo.  His owner took special care to wipe his mustache clean while the owner's husband and my own, sweet Eric, teased her mercilessly.  My dear friends and blog readers, you all know that I'm a serious animal lover.  I immediately sided with the whisker wiping woman.  I too would not have my pet suffer the indignities of enduring a messy mustache.  Why is this silly?

I've been known to chase my dogs in order to scrape out offending eye boogers.  What's wrong with this?  My dogs are white.  Eye boogies are black.  I am providing a two-fold service; improving their appearance and allowing them to see better.  No one else will step up to the plate and perform this distasteful duty.  My poor critters would suffer if I weren't around to provide these necessary yet disgusting functions. 

Tulip is my Shih Tzu.  I swore if I ever owned a fluffy, girl dog I would not humiliate her with bows or ribbons.  Well, this would certainly hold true if I knew in my heart of hearts Tootie wasn't such a priss and secretly loves the fuss.  So, yes - I've held her down from time to time to pin back her hair with polka dot bows.

I suppose what I'm trying to imply here is that for serious pet lovers, our little ones are like our family members.  They're a reflection of us.  We don't want them strutting about with cheesy whiskers or booger eyes.  Remember spouses, we're the first ones who notice when you have a hole in your pants or a wayward hair growing out of your ear.  How would you like it if we let you strut around a party looking unkempt?  Hmm...??  I thought so.