Sunday, August 5, 2012

If I say, "no" - I most certainly mean, "yes".

I'm a walking contradiction.  I enjoy children but not screaming, hoards of them.  I love people but not ignorant, self-absorbed ones.  Comedy is wonderful but not when it crosses the "cruelty line".  I adore animals until they snarl at me. "Shit! That dog must be rabid!"  Babies; heaven on earth until they smell like pooh, or they start nom-nomming on my boob, or begin howling and then it's, "Hey, Mama, take this thing, will you?"  And, ME actually give birth to one of these aliens?  You've got to be kidding?  I serve fruits and vegetables to my boys at every meal yet I wouldn't be caught dead popping a grape in my mouth.  What the Hell is broccoli anyway?

No one is perfect, in particular myself -- Bri Potts.

Welcome to my odd and curious contrariness.  I do believe I was born this way.  There's no cure.  I'm not looking for an excuse for my behavior; however, this blog is a means to simply explain it.  I'm a little left of center, a pancake short of a stack, not the sharpest tool in the shed..well, need I say more? 

I'm not purposely poking fun of myself but I suppose if I had to tease someone, I'd be the most suitable.  Sometimes I seriously wonder what the heck inspires me to do the things I do.  Here's an example:

"Eric, what's the name of that thing?"

"What thing?"

"You know...?"

"What?"

"The thing?"

"Bri, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No.  I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Now I'm getting pissed off!  What's the point of asking you if you never know what I'm talking about?"  Eric laughs at me.

"Don't laugh at me!  I need to know the name of the thing!"  Eric laughs some more.  "OH MY GOD!"  I storm off in a temper tantrum.

Can I say for the record that it takes a wonderful man, no strike that - a saintly man - to still love me after eighteen years of marriage.  Yes, the light is on Mrs. Potts but no one is home...