|Breezy the Lazy Sloth|
I need to make my bed; however, I don't wanna. I mean seriously, what's the point? I'm just going to crawl into it again in say -- ten minutes. I realize it's not quite noon yet here in Colorado but I'm tired, it's Friday, and almost 100 degrees outside. What's so important that I need to move my body and waste any sort of energy? By lying still, I'm doing the world a favor and conserving precious resources. I'm practicing eco-friendly conservatism. Residents of Boulder, Colorado would approve.
I don't wanna make my children lunch. After all, my plan is to be in bed soon. Does this qualify me as being a ridiculously irresponsible mother? The boys are 16 and 14; they're very much capable of throwing a couple of pieces of bread together with a slice of ham. I suppose it would make things easier if there weren't deadbolts keeping them out of the refrigerator and pantry. This is an unfortunate situation which they've created themselves. When entire blocks of cheese or packages of Oreo cookies go missing in the middle of the night, the House Troll can't always assume full responsibility. They ate a large breakfast. The guys will be fine. There's always fruit on the counter.
Good grief, I know I have it bad when I consider getting up for the restroom an inconvenience. "I'm toooo comfortable....", moans the lazy sloth in her overstuffed recliner. "I don't wanna! If I lie here long enough, maybe the urge will just go away? Oh, screw it..I don't wanna to go to bed. I'll just sleep where I'm at. If I'm lucky, my pants will be dry when I wake up."