Saturday, June 30, 2012

I do not like green eggs and SPAM..or do I, Sam?

SPAM.  Food?  Sort of.  The word is derived from "Spiced" and "Ham".  It is a true American creation which some people are as passionate for as others are repulsed by.

To give a little more information, SPAM is a canned precooked meat product made by the Hormel Foods Corporation, first introduced in 1937. I would go into greater detail as to what it consists of; however, it's still early here in the Rockies and again - the ingredients may not bode well with folks still drinking their coffee (especially if they happen to be enjoying a slice of SPAM along with it).  It has an indefinite shelf life which means that cockroaches and cans of this food will be our goodwill ambassadors to visiting intergalactic tourists long after we're extinct most likely due to filling our bodies with toxic processed, precooked, meat products.

Do I like SPAM?  This is a tricky question because it places me in awkward predicament.  If I say, "yes", I risk losing all creditability in social circles whose fine dining experiences extend beyond 7-11 and an occasional sit down meal at Denny's.  If I say, "no", then I turn my back on happy Sunday morning memories of the Bryant clan gathered around the stovetop asking for additional pieces of fried SPAM with their scrambled eggs.  If I choose not to answer..? 

To Hell with it...My name is Bri Potts and I like SPAM.  Wow!  I feel vindicated.  Now I can enjoy my cold SPAM sandwiches smothered in mayonnaise and catsup on white, processed sandwich bread in peace.  I will no longer feel compelled to hide my stash o' SPAM from my husband.  There is no shame in SPAM.  Dammit, now I'm hungry.  It's time to fry me up a piece or two of them there rectangular, jellied pieces of SPAM.  Ooohh weee!

Bon appétit!