Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Raising boys...raising two very special boys.

Oh, the joy of having adolescent boys...AND then add in boys who aren't interested in taking care of their personal grooming habits...AND who have absolutely no clue about social etiquette because they have an Autisic disorder called, Aspergers.  Yay!  Perhaps one day my kids will be able to enjoy a warm afternoon without being assaulted by flies or insulting looks from strangers because of their offensive body odor; however, currently these days are few and far between.  Often times, receive the awful, accusatory looks; "Why doesn't that woman make her children bathe?  Use deodorant?  Wash their hair?"  Oh, people judge not what ye don't understand.

It's a horrible thing when I have to ask, "William have you used shampoo lately?"  Oftentimes, I question this even if his hair is wet.  So why, my dear friends and blog readers ask, can't I assume that my sixteen year old has washed his hair?  One would think this is a logical assumption.  Not so.  In my line of maternal work, I've discovered that a wet head can merely be a ruse for my son walking in and out of the shower; getting his body wet, and not using the soap or even a towel.  He doesn't brush his teeth, apply deodorant, or wipe up the 3 inches of floor water after leaving the shower door open.

When I pull his week's worth of dirty laundry to begin the arduous task of sorting and washing, my nose is assaulted with a stench so horrifying that I'm almost knocked backwards.  Really?  How many changes of pants did he make?  Two, three?  Oh, dear God in Heaven?  I must have Eric talk with him again.  Why purchase prescription acne cream if he doesn't change his clothes? 

My son doesn't know how to talk to girls.  We've tried to work with him.  He's taken peer interaction classes.  He doesn't understand social situations.  There's a phrase I've read once about an awkward Asperger's kiddo.  His mother used to say something to the effect of, "You're failing as a teenager, but you'll grow-up to be an amazing adult."  I totally understand this statement.

Austynn is similar but different.  He too has no concept of self-care.  He'll be 14 years-old in July and Eric and I still find ourselves coaching him on how to appropriately shower.  We know for a fact that he stands under the hot water and considers this sufficient.  He'll place shampoo on his head (I've learned to purchase the 2 in 1 brands) and let it sit for a few moments and then simply rinse it out.  Hence, we've now requested that he wash his hair 3x before finishing up.  We figure what he doesn't get the first couple of times, he'll hit by the final rinse.  If we're extremely lucky, he'll break the soap and play with it.  This way he gets some soap on his body.  He too fails to use his deodorant and hardly ever brushes his teeth.

I use a lot of scare tactics on this little guy.  "Austynn, If you don't brush, your teeth will fall out and you won't be able to eat popcorn at the movies." 

This is a good one.  Food as an incentive for brushing?  Who knew?  I also comment how orange his teeth are looking from time to time.  He hates this so I'll see him scrubbing after he realizes that there's a bit of truth to my statement.  The deodorant thing is killing me though.  Just yesterday, after I spent an entire Monday on laundry, I walked into his room and saw the following on his closet floor;  two t-shirts, swim trunks, shorts, a tank top, a pair of socks, and two school shirts. 

"What's going on?"  He calmly stated that they all stunk or that he'd sweat too much during the day so he'd changed his clothes. 

"OH NO!  This is NOT going to happen!!  It's called DEODORANT/ANTIPERSPIRANT and you'll be using it IMMEDIATELY!  AND, you'll be doing laundry with me all day Sunday so you can figure out how much work this business causes me."  (Little piss ant!) 

Austynn whimpered.

Adolescent boys.  I get them...and THEN SOME!