Thursday, March 1, 2012

DUCK! The dragon is ready to sneeze!!

Today I'm blogging about something near and not so dear to my...mouthHalitosis or simply put, bad breath, morning breath, or in my sweet husband's case - dragon's breath. What is dragon's breath?  Basically Eric could light the bedroom on fire with a sneeze.  I'm quite literally light headed when I stand up from the smell.  It was in the fine print of our marital contract; however, in hindsight - well worth the sacrifice.

I'm not innocent in this either.  I wish I could say I sleep with my mouth shut at night.  When I was heavier, before my gastric bypass, I was a notorious snorer and so my breath was probably much worse.  Now, and since my deviated septum surgery, I'm sleeping easier but still wake up finding myself laying on my back, with my mouth partially open, and lips flapping away.  Add my overly affectionate dogs who are one, interested in the bits of food still in my teeth (no, I don't always brush and floss before bedtime so sue me!) and two, think that they have a right to lick whenever they see an open-mouth opportunity - yes, my life can be completely disgusting at times.
I have considered purchasing a bedroom air freshener but I'm afraid of inhaling the mist and choking on it. And, God forbid, should Eric breath it in and asphyxiate, we would all die in our sleep from a terrible fire ball explosion.  No, that's not the answer plus it wouldn't solve the immediate problem.  Argue as you may, brushing and flossing doesn't do it either.  I'm thinking the ultimate solution is cutting back on the enormous amount of fresh onion and garlic I use to prepare dinner with every night. Hmm...then what would Eric and I have to giggle about before bedtime?  Oh, the dilemma...

This is where I've come to my startling revelation; there is no way in Hell Eric and I are giving up our evening game of fart football and besides I've pre-assembled a beautiful lasagna for dinner tonight. Now I ask you, my dear friends and blog readers, what is good Italian food without lots of fresh garlic and onion?  Halitosis, bad breath, morning breath, dragon's breath...what's that?


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