Thursday, January 26, 2012

Let's face it, women can handle the gross stuff.

WARNING: Detailed Grossness Alert.

Women of the world unite!! Why do we get left with all the unsavory household tasks? I can rattle off a list in my mind right now..wait better yet, I'll bullet them below for the world to see:
    "No, mama, no!!"
  • Cleaning poop out of dog's butts. Now some of you may be wondering about this one but if you have small, furry critters which don't get groomed as often as they should (please don't call the ASPCA on me), it happens that my Lhasa Apso is handed off to me quite frequently. I don't know what it is about Tank, perhaps it's the bark he chews on outside, but he has "issues" and to avoid these "issues" from being dragged across my bedroom carpet, Eric tends to turn this continually "stopped up" lover over to me. Up go my sleeves, warm water, soft rags, and a look on poor Tank's face which says, "Good grief Mama, anything but this again!". Trust me little feller, I don't like it any more than you do. 
  • Scrubbing Toilets. When was the last time your guy volunteered for this duty?
  • When my son, Austynn barfed on the top bunk, over the stuffed animals, through the hallway, and perhaps a teaspoon worth in the toilet - who calmed the house down, kept the dogs away, and managed to keep dad from doing the same? You guessed it, Mom - superhero extraordinaire.
  • Sticking hands in dirty clothes pockets doesn't sound so awful; however, do the laundry in my house for a week and see how you feel about it.  I've pulled out everything from soaking wet, snot-filled tissues to crawling pill bugs.  No frogs yet.  Dead crickets and grasshoppers, yes.  I've sliced my fingers on rusted nails whereas I've considered going into the hospital for tetanus shots and zapped myself on active batteries.  Ask my boys to empty their pockets, you say?  Hmm..how many requests have I made?  How many consequences have been given?  Have my children do their own laundry?  This has all been attempted.  Very good suggestions.  Thanks anyway. 
So men I say to you, I'm aware that you're often handed the toilet plunger.  I too have see my fair shair of this nasty device.  I've also been splattered in the face by the effort.  I agree that it's not fun.  I know how disgusting it is to reach down a garbage disposal and worry that one, your ten year old might suddenly have a hankering to turn on the switch and two, you just don't like what you're feeling around down there.  It's gross, I get it. You guys do a lot of nasty stuff too. But when push comes to shove, women have a lot more horror assigned to us.  How often do you guys gag when women hover over a toilet bowl with a sick kiddo or change a poopy diaper?  Ok. I'm done lamenting.

By the way, dear friends and blog readers, I'm on this ramble because my husband would not allow me to pop the nastiest pimple I've ever seen in my life on his face last night. Someone had to do it. I couldn't allow him to go into work today looking like that.  It was an awful responsibility yet I took it on.  Eric owes me a huge debt of gratitude.  I haven't heard a thank you from him yet. I'm still waiting...

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