Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Ladies, it's all about the headlights and I'm not talkin' cars...

I've never made any secret about the fact that I'm big chested. It's a Baxter/Bryant family curse (though some smaller gals would highly disagree).  Live with these tatas for the majority of your life ladies and you would understand the inconvenience.  Sure, sure they get a lot of admiration from the opposite sex and sometimes from the same sex; however, they're cumbersome.  They create problems that we large boobied girls can only commiserate with, for instance...

Living in cold climates is not always a good thing.  I can't tell you how often I have to check my headlights, so to speak. Now if I had small, perky, happy tatas which are always where they need to be, this would not be a problem.

Years ago I worked at a restaurant where the uniforms where fairly low cut, thin, white, french maid blouses.  The air conditioning in the building was always blasting.  Do I need to go into extreme detail here?  There were days when I would walk in, literally go straight to the restroom, stand under the hand dryers, and wait for my nipples to warm up.  I couldn't take orders from customers looking like that.  I was a distraction!  There were times I would get groups of male customers requesting to sit in my section.  It got so bad that I bought a pair of oversized, clear glasses to wear.  In fact, that's how I met my first husband.

"Excuse me, miss..."  (He was sitting at the coffee counter as I was ringing up a charge.)


"Weren't you just wearing glasses a second ago?"


"Don't you need them?"


"Then why do you wear them?"

"Do you really want to know?"


"Because men tend to stare at my boobs before they look at my eyes."

He blushed, was startled by my response, looked at my chest, laughed, and said, "You know, it worked!".

Today, living in Colorado, it's seems like it's always cold.  "Eric, are my headlights straight?"

"Perfection, my dear."

Little, mosquito bite girls just don't get it.  We large chested girls need to make adjustments all the time.  Our tatas can be high beams or one can be a little to the left, a little to the right, and God forbid, in another 15 to 20 years (or sooner) need some serious lifting action.  How depressing is that?!!

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