Thursday, September 1, 2011

When our pets are sick, RUN!

Yes our animals are sweet, loving, adorable little creatures until they're sick and then no one wants to admit that the unnamed horror oozing across the tile can possibly belong to them. Then it's the blame game.  Who fed them what the night before because it is this culprit and no one else who will be responsible for picking up that nasty mess.

When this doesn't work (and really, does it ever?), I make matters worse by staring at it trying to determine what it was that made them sick.  Wow.  Why do I do this to myself?  I don't know about you but this makes me want to hurl.  It's the principle of the matter!  I want to know if the piece of Teriyaki Chicken my husband started waving around under the table last night was actually cut up and placed into their bowls, because if it was, I sure as Hell am not going to wipe that stuff up.  Dammit, I can never tell.  I succumb to the anonymous factor of the sickness and wipe it up doing my best not to get nauseous in the process.

Of course, since we have more the one pet, I have to figure out which is the sick one to prevent future mishaps on the carpet.  If the problem is vomit, it's the breath test.  Often times this is worse then wiping up the puke.  Fortunately, I don't have to get too close to know who the offender is.  The dogs are white, so usually they leave a trail of it in their beards but I must wipe it off before they do it on my comforter.  Oh the joys of pet ownership!

Last night it wasn't a sour stomach.  It was the other end. Tulip, my Shih Tzu could not contain herself, poor little thing.  Thank goodness she has an affinity to be sick on the tile but that didn't make Eric feel any better when he slipped in it.  In this awfulness, there was bright note which I've been leading up to.

Eric and I often tease each other about who needs to use the restroom more.  If one is more desperate than the other, the other one tends to jump ahead and sneak in.  Yes, it's cruel and unusual but it's what we do.  I believe it's written in the small print of our marriage contract, "THOU SHALL TEASE ONE ANOTHER TO DISTRACTION".  Eric raced me to the restroom last night and yes, that's when he slipped in his bare feet in the dog poop in his attempt to get into the toilet before me.  While he was cursing and wiping his feet and complaining about how bad it smelled (which I am not denying that it did, it was quite horrific), I ran carefully around him and got into the restroom leaving him the mess to pick up.  Haha!  That will teach him not to deny his wife the use of the facilities and might I add not to feed Tulip Teriyaki Chicken.         

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