Weight. My friend's blog this morning and my conversation with my sister last night has touched my "fat" nerve. Well actually, there's more than "one" nerve. There are several. There's a big one on my ass, there's a couple hanging off my bat wings (aka, my arms), my bellies (I have several laying on top of one another...isn't that special?), my chins, of course my boobs, even my fingers have fat nerves.
Not Skinny Enough
Fuck it. That's right. I said it. The big, bad powerful word. In the grand scheme of things what does that word really mean? Nothing. Just like the word, "Fat". I'm tired of putting any more energy into it than I need to. I'm sorry if that word or my body offends you because quite frankly, I'm beautiful. And those words, Fat and Fuck? They just start with the letter "F" as far as I'm concerned. So let's do this, if one is considered a bad word, let's consider the other a bad word too and not use it anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the whole concept.
2001, 336 lbs
I listen to these fantastic, strong, amazingly beautiful women worried about this "F" word and I think, what happened to us? We were told we were beautiful and then taken to weight loss clinics at 15 because we weren't beautiful enough. We wanted our father's approval but we couldn't get it unless we were perfect, doll like. We raced our brothers and sisters through dinner so we could have the biggest piece of dessert. Now we hoard food. We eat double servings and hide our shame.
2002, 180?? lbs
NO MORE! We are beautiful just the way we are. Stop the madness, ladies. Eat what you like. Stop when you're full. Be happy. Look in the mirror and see the beautiful minds, creative energy, and amazing sense of humor shining back through your eyes. I WEIGH 232 POUNDS. My weight does not define me. I am Bri Potts. I love who I am with all of my goofy faults and my bi-polar nuttiness. I love the way my breasts curve when I stretch out nude in front of a mirror. I love my bellies, and my silly ass, and my bat wings because one day they might actually take flight. Even my fat little fingers because these are the fingers that type the words I've written today. I love the softness of my skin, the sparkle in my intense blue eyes, and the kindness of my heart.
Let's move on everyone. If we're going to lose weight, let's do it without the scales and the perky pain in the ass weight technicians who've never struggled a day in their lives with self-esteem. Let's do it logically. Let's look at why we weighed 250 pounds as freshmen in high school and figure that out first. If we want a fast food combo, let's not order two and shove them down our gullet before we get home. Let's walk in the restaurant and eat a meal there. Forget the shame that it's a cheeseburger and fries. Celebrate that you're eating it on your terms.
2011, Just Right!
If we're going to beat this "F" word, we need to believe that we're just as deserving of recognition and respect as the pixie stick standing next to us. And in some ways more...we had to fight ourselves to earn it.