Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Please somebody, knock me out with a hammer!

I think I'm dying.  It's a brain worm.

I have a headache.  No, scratch that.  A full on feel my blood throbbing in my temples, sitting in a semi-dark room (lit with just enough light to see my keyboard), if I stand too fast I'm going to lose my precious Vicodin overdose -  Migraine.

I have been up and down, tossing and turning in my half made bed since 3:00am last night.  (Side note:  If those construction workers don't stop dropping plywood next door it's going to be a very ugly scene in a moment.) 

Maybe I can just sit here and moan..
For those of you who are familiar with migraines or at least very nasty headaches, you know the routine.  Once they wake you up...you're screwed.  Sleep?  What's that?  So after I listened to Eric's snoring and tried to make up a secret snore speech to no avail, orchestrated an original rap song from the incessant noise of the overhead fan, and considered the possibility of cancer developing in my mouth from where I had been clenching my teeth, I had determined that getting up and roaming the house in my half drugged state was preferable.

I'm going to kill those construction dudes!

I realized that once the meds truly kicked in, my eventually getting up for the morning routine would be basically impossible so at 3:42 am I made school lunches, set out what I wanted the boys to have for breakfast, and placed their medications on the counter.  Of course, William forgot to take his meds.  There's nothing more horrifying than my 15yr old Aspergian son without his medication for the day.  All he does is bend over and fart.  Normally, this is quite routine for a kiddo his age but when a young man stands up in the middle of a science test and tells his entire classroom that he has something to say...well, you can understand my concern.

Where's the hammer?
So now, I'm up again.  My plan for having the kids take care of themselves has gone awry and my knock-out meds are fighting with my caffeine (because of course, I needed coffee to take Austynn to school) are dueling with one another to see who will be victorious.  The migraine?  Oh, it's still there in all of its glory knocking violently against my eyelids in this semi-dark room.  I'm still wondering if I stand up too fast or crawl too quickly up the stairs will I lose one of my precious remedies to the porcelain throne.  I hate it when that happens because my coffee was particularly good this morning and we all know how hard it is to hang on to old prescription power pain meds.  Maybe I'll just sit here for another hour or so and moan.  I'm really, really good at that.  At least Eric thinks so.  No.  Those construction workers outside are just getting started...wicked, wicked bastards.  Don't they know how miserable I am?  I'm probably dying from some unknown malady.  Let the slow crawl upstairs commence...

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