Friday, September 16, 2011

I've been called a lot of things in my life...

I've been called a lot of things in my life and unfortunately many of them are true.  The one title which really unnerves me is that of a "control freak". 

Control Freak.  If there were to be a definition in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary it should just have my picture:

Yep, there you go.  No more needs to be said.  That's me.  Control Freak. 

The reason I believe that control freaks are the way they are, well - controlling, is because we feel we have no sense of control anywhere else in our lives.  For instance my weight.  As a kiddo, I felt I had no control over a chaotic home life.  Things were pretty insane so I controlled my little space by hoarding food and eating as much as I could.  It comforted me.  By the time I stopped playing sports in junior high and became a freshman in high school, I weighed close to 200 pounds.  What I thought I controlled, I didn't.  I would buy 2-3 fast food orders because I didn't want the guy at the window to think I was ordering for just one person and then, sadly enough, I would shove them down my throat before I got home.  I didn't want to waste the food.  Don't you realize that there are starving children in Africa - not to mention extremely obese children in America?

As you all know by now, I've given that piece of control up.  It's not easy to let things go - to accept things as they are but that's what I'm striving for, one day at a time.

The reason this came up today is because of a huge, friggin' pimple in the center of my chin.  Laugh if you must but this is a very serious issue for me.  (Pardon me, but I can hear snickering in China!)  I do not appreciate the fact that at 44 years old, I still get acne when Banshee decides to come for her monthly visit.  If I want to announce her visit to God and the rest of creation, then I will announce it dammit, but not by a huge whitehead on the center of my chin!  I feel I should have some control over who knows what's happening in my life and when.  This is horrific.  Now I face the daunting question of whether to pop it and make it red and more noticeable or do I safely stay at home and pray that it dries up before I pick up Austy this afternoon from school.  (Yes, you're right - another title, "vain".)  Chances are I'll pop it because I'm obsessed with pimples.  D'oh! 

Oh and by the way, if I seem a little testy this weekend, Banshee has arrived.  You may want to stay clear of my mood swings for a couple of days. 

Haha!!  I announced her arrival before you saw the pimple and turned away in horror and disgust.  I am the master of my own information.  I have control!  Now if I could just leave the friggin' pimple alone...      

No comments: