Thursday, September 8, 2011

Are you a moral shirt tosser outer?

We all have one don't we? A favorite shirt that we've hung on to for far too long? Yes, I have two and today I must part with one of them. It's inevitable. As I sorted my mounds of past due laundry from Tuesday, I saw it sitting there, my smelly, dirty compadre begging me not to do it..not to toss it into the trash. It's the right thing to do of course. I don't have the heart to tear it into cleaning rags. That would be the final insult. It will be washed, folded with respect, and placed carefully into a plastic bag before meeting the dumpster. This is how to repay a good friend. Nothing else will do.

It started out as one of my husband's T-shirts given to him when he was a Cub Scout dad many years ago in California.  It was completely too big for him and it instantly became one of my favorite "fat" shirts.  It was light, comfortable, and did not cling too miserably to my belly or boobs.  What more could a 300+ girl ask for?  And, I felt sexy in it!  Believe it or not, when I weighed that much, I really did feel beautiful.  It was just when I saw pictures of myself that I cringed.  Ladies, find yourself a man who loves you for who you are and not for what you look like because standing beside Eric, I've never felt fat a day in my life.
 
Once the shirt started becoming far too oversized for me, I delegated it as a "stay at home" shirt.  After years of kicking back in it and repeated washings, the wicked House Troll started nibbling little holes in the bottom of it...bastard!  I hate that villain!!  I've lost more clothes to that creep!
Then of course, because I'm so dedicated to how sexy I look at bedtime, it became a sleep shirt with my long johns or sweat pants.  (Hey, at least I don't smear cold cream all over my face or wear curlers.  I do have some compassion for my man.)  Two nights ago, this sleep shirt's holes became so big that my belly button felt Tulip's paw poke through while I was sleeping.  Since the colder months are coming, I feel that this will not suffice any longer.  Eventually every good thing must come to an end.
 
My other shirt is an orange tye-dye which is also suffering from House Troll holes and is not much longer for this world.  (Eric is secretly quite pleased with this because he's always hated my hippie streak).  I figure it has one more cold season because it's long sleeved and I can wear it under sweat shirts.  I just can't part with two favorite shirts in one season.  I'd seriously be in complete shock. 
 
So what do you do with your favorite shirts when they're no longer wearable?  Do you keep them in memorandum in the back of your closet?  Do you give them a final and decent send off?  If neither and you're a wicked shit using them to clean as such in your toilet bowl, please don't respond.  My heart would be broken.  I believe these are the questions which determine one's true character.  I want to feel that my friends and readers are good and moral shirt tosser outers...I want to believe...I want to believe!   

No comments: