Saturday, July 16, 2011

Was My Little Boy Really Watching A Boobie Cable Show?

What is it with boobie cable shows?  Well, ok...I get it.  I've never been a 13 and 14 year old boy with access to cable television when my parents were downstairs talking up a storm.  It was all I could do to not burst out into laughter when I saw what they were watching.  Good grief!  I didn't even know that stuff was on my cable.  Now I know where to turn on those nights when Eric and I get squirmy though I don't think I'll watch exactly the same thing.  This particular station was an old Latin 50's show and the lady was swinging them around like who knows what (which is why I almost pee'd my pants).  At least she was wearing star pasties though I had to squint real hard to see them.  It was a black and white show and for the most part, I was just comparing her huge boobs to my own and thinkin', "Damn, that would kill me if I attempted to swing mine around like that!"

I was alerted to what was happening by my 13 year old son, Austynn who hasn't quite figured out whether he likes the idea of sex yet.  His body has just begun to change but he's suffering from the "Peter Pan" syndrome.  He doesn't want to grow up.  If I call him my "big boy", which he really is at 140 something pounds, he gets annoyed and tells me he wants me to call me his "little boy".  You see, when he came to us at 6 years old, he had already been through 13 foster, group, and ESH (Emergency Shelter) homes within 3 years.  He had never had a permanent family to be a little boy with.  He's trying to catch up. 

So, last night, I hear Austynn hollering from upstairs that it wasn't his fault.  At this point he was charging down the hallway as I suspect he was very, to put it gently, aroused.  I came upstairs to my bedroom, which curiously had both doors closed, and continued listening to Austynn's non-stop explanation that it wasn't his fault, that his guest made him turn it to that station, and on and on and on.  Sure enough, there was my guests' son sitting calmly explaining that it was Austynn's fault for turning it there.  There they were - the big swinging boobies in all of their black and white glory - on my LTD, LED, LVD, something or other life is good TV. 

"How did you find this station, Austynn (trying to conceal my shock and amusement)?"

"He made me do it, Mom!  It's all his fault!"

"Just turn it off, Austy."

In his obvious arousal and confusion, Austynn could not find the remote control.  I had to turn it off manually.  Poor kiddo.  He probably tossed and turned for quite a while last night. 

This isn't the first time Austynn has shown me that he's moving on.

Every summer I choose a book to read aloud to the boys to fill an hour or so when the days are at their hottest.  This year I've chosen a book which seems appropriate for young teens and my boys are very much involved in it.  Not too long ago I reached a chapter which became extremely suggestive.  Yes, I do recall reading books like this in my adolescence so I should not have been too surprised when something like this came up. 

I got to a scene where a very pretty 20 something young girl practically forces herself on a 14 year old boy.  Now remember, I was reading this book to 15, 14 and 12 year old boys (William's best friend was over for the afternoon).  The chapter was so high in sexual tension one could cut it with a knife and all three of the boys where listening in rapt attention.  All I was thinking was, "Please Lord, let this end soon.  I'm rather embarrassed here." 

Finally it was over.  Thank goodness!

"Mom..."

"Yes, Austynn."

"Would you mind rabbit earring this chapter for me so I can read it again tonight in bed?"

AWKWARD!!!

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