Thursday, June 2, 2011

Don't Go In There, It's A Slaughter House!

I love sharing stories about my sons, William and Austynn.  As many of you know, both my boys are on the autistic spectrum which can bring about some interesting and cringe worthy moments.  I choose to laugh at many of them because really, what else can I do?  Austynn, as you've come to find out (or will if you continue to follow my blog) is quite the character.  I adore him but at times, as a good Catholic girl, I believe that he could quite possibly drive the Pope to drink.  I never know what to expect from him as the following story will clearly show...

Every year, Eric's company hosts a party for their employees and family members.  It rents out a large Denver venue, for instance the Zoo, caters a lovely meal, and allows their employees and family members access after hours.  Last year, the party was located at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science which was extremely exciting because the Body Worlds Exhibit was there at the time.  I had a chance to see it when it was in Los Angeles but Eric didn't.  I wasn't sure if the boys would be up for it so we explained what it was in great detail and gave them the choice of seeing it or visiting another part of the museum with me.  William was very curious so he went ahead with Dad.  Austynn was certain he could do it too yet I take everything he says with a grain of salt.  He was to go with me, hand in hand, side by side, and the moment I sensed any discomfort or fear on his part, I would remove him immediately.

The first issue.  The male genitalia.  Yes, all of the body works were nude and most of them were male.  Austy made a very loud comparison between his genitalia and that of the first specimen.  My kiddo was very concerned that the former gentleman's "stuff" was too large and that he was "abnormal".  Ok, concern well taken.  We moved on.

Now, I just mentioned that most of the bodies were male, but not all.  The female specimens seemed to all have their backs arched with their nipples very well intact and pointing to the heavens.  For the first time in my short life with Austy he had nothing more to say than a two syllable utterance, "Uh oh."  I had to tug him gently away from those bodies.

Austynn spent a lot of time at the lung exhibits.  This was actually very cute.  He would point out the clean, healthy lungs compared to the dirty, cancer ridden ones and would warn everyone about the dangers of smoking.  I let this go on for awhile until I saw an older woman who was clearly disturbed.  I moved my kiddo along right before he noticed her oxygen tank.  I had a very strong suspicion that if I hadn't he would have started consoling her upon her impending doom.

Now mind you, throughout the entire exhibit I'd been asking Austy if he was ok.  If he wanted to leave.  If he liked it.  He said was enjoying himself.  Everything was interesting.  All was good.  Ok.  We continued along.

We made it!  No huge problems.  No red face, squirm worthy incidents.  The exhibit door was in my sight.  And then it happened.  A Security Guard saw my cute, rolly polly, inquisitive looking kid with freckles and big blue eyes behind coke bottle glasses...

"How did you like the exhibit, little guy?"

Oh no!  Deep breath.  Please, Austynn.  Just answer him sweetly and honestly.  Please!  Don't elaborate.  Don't exaggerate.  Please, buddy.  PLEASE!

"Ummm, Really?  Well, let me tell ya..."


"It was awful!  People shouldn't bring their children into places like this.  It's a genuine slaughter house!"

Absolute silence except for the sharp intake of my breath.  "Well, yes..thank you.  We'll just be leaving now.  Have a nice evening."

Have I mentioned how much I love my children?

1 comment:

Brenda said...

You were so close....sooo close!!!!!