Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Please Don't Spit Rice-A-Roni In My Face

Summer Break.  Day One. 

What the heck am I going to do with my 12 and 15 year olds for the next 80 days?  I'm still working diligently to figure it out, and at the last minute might I add.   I'm trying to get them into a day treatment summer camp starting the first week of June.  This would be great because the kids would be in separate, small group settings based on their ages for their autistic spectrum challenges.  Austy will be in camp for four days a week and William for two which will be fine because I don't think my oldest would agree to more than this anyway.  It's all good because at least he won't turn into a vampire.  What is it with fifteen year olds and the need to live in complete darkness?  Anyway, I digress.  These programs will have trained therapists as their counselors and help them with peer interactions and social skills necessary to co-exist with others much less their parents before we murder them prior to reaching adulthood.

Perhaps we can also ask the therapist to focus on teaching our 12 year old how to close the door while using the toilet and to flush when completing his business?  This seems to be a reasonable social skill nowadays.  I think out of all the arguments which involve the House Troll, this is the biggest (pardon the pun) - the left behind, non-flushed business in the toilet.  I have even made signs and taped them above the toilet as a kind, yet gentle reminder.  No can do.

Another social skill - not belching at the dinner table.  I realize that with most households, even without autistic spectrum children, that this is probably a common occurrence; however, my kids do not understand the difference between manners at our table and let's say, hmm...a 5-star restaurant - not that we can afford it, but maybe one day...

While the therapists are at it, perhaps they can assist my boys with table manners in general.  I can't count how many times I've reminded Austy not to talk with his mouth full of food yet he often forgets.  I also ask William to eat slower but he doesn't.  So here's the deal, I don't know who's worse to sit across from;  Austynn who sprays a generous amount of Rice-a-Roni into my face while he's talking nonstop or William who eats so fast he chokes up an entire piece of steak onto the table, places it back into his mouth, and then swallows it whole again (of course, followed by an obnoxious burp).

That's it!  This will be the summer of table manners.  Before day 79,  my boys will be able be able to sit through a meal of Denny's fried chicken fingers without spraying, choking, or belching and if we're really lucky, Dad will have picked up on the belching manners too. 

4 comments:

Pat said...

I'd have a witty comment, but I'm busy picking my nose.

Bri Potts said...

ROFLMAO!!

Anonymous said...

I'm too busy sratching...places that should never be scrached in front of your mother-in-law like I did.

Love you Bri!

Brenda said...

Okay Pat, that was hilarious!!!

Bri, I am hoping that some of the lessons do include manners, but since they are teen boys, the lessons may be hopeless anyway. The good thing is that there is camp and we will not have to spend every minute with the heathens.