Thursday, May 5, 2011

OMG! It's Almost Mother's Day!

Mother's Day is coming and a terrible sound is starting to reverberate all over the country.  The sound of squirming, terrified people as they realize that they may have waited too long to purchase a gift for their mother, wife, or significant other.  I understand.  I too am in this panic state.  Just last night my husband reminded me that the holiday is this weekend.  Good grief!  When did this happen?  Isn't it the following Sunday?  Where did the time go?  And, by the way, if our sweet mothers happen to be reading my blog, I apologize if your cards arrive late.  It's Eric's fault. 

Why does purchasing gifts and cards fall on the wife's shoulders?  I think this is sexist and unfair but this is another blog entirely. 

So, procrastinators of the world you still have a little time.  If you hurry, you can get to your local grocery store and snag a cheap, unsentimental card.  Or, if you're lucky, you may find one that actually says something close to how you feel.  The other option is the gooey, sentimental route and make your own card all the way down to the lovely, hand-made coupons good for the one-time foot massages and back rubs.  These are sweet and preferable because at least some thought went into them.   Suggestion: don't offer anything your stomach or checkbook are unwilling to dole out. 

I often hear the complaint that one doesn't know what to get one's mother, wife, or significant other.  Good grief!  If you don't know what the woman likes by now there are some serious concerns here!  However, without being judgemental, I will make some subliminal suggestions throughout my blog.  Once you are finished reading, you will feel refreshed and ready to spend a pretty penny on the one you love (SPA PEDICURE).

Having my mother so far away (CAR DETAIL), I often wish she (CONCERT TICKETS) lived closer so I could spend more time worth her; however, the distance seems to have made us closer in some ways.  We talk more than we ever have.  We don't take it for granted that we live just a (WEEKEND GET AWAY) short distance from one another any more.  We actually have to work to stay connected.  (1X HOUSE CLEANING SERVICE).  I miss her tremendously and if she's reading this, "I love you, Mama" (ROMANTIC DINNER).

Now that you feel refreshed, go out and conquer the grocery stores, shopping malls, and online sites; however, a word of caution; do not, under penalty of a severe look of disappointment, bring your mother, wife, or significant other a last minute cellophane wrapped, cheesy dyed bouquet of flowers purchased from your local grocery store.  It would be better to just show up with a kiss and a cup of coffee than go that route and, if this is the case, at least make it Starbucks.

7 comments:

LadyDreamer said...

I haven't seen them here, but in Massachusetts they always had roadside stands of fresh flowers and plants from some local farmer out right up to and on Mother's Day. Lovely, fresh, and exquisite. I miss those.

Bri Potts said...

Great subliminal. Keep 'em coming ladies! LOL!

Pat said...

My mother and wife don't need presents. They have me. I'm awesome. :)

Side note:
I was married on mother's day, which means my anniversary is also coming up. Ayieeee!!!

Eric said...

Bri, all you have to do is put in order of pririty and identify when and where you would like. For instance, the spa (when, where, what kind of pedicure?); the concert tickets (what band, where?); weekend get away (where? what about the boys? money?); romantic dinner (where?)

I need you to be specific or I might just buy tickets to see some band you hate. Just buy them and I will put my name on them for you.

How is that for Mothers Day?

Bri Potts said...

Good grief! Spontaneity is gone forever. And to think after fifteen years of marriage and knowing me since high school...

Ladies, make Hamburger Helper on Father's Day and go to the Spa! (Be sure to charge it on his card!!)

Bri Potts said...

P.S. Potsie, and to think I almost well...never mind ;)

Brenda said...

LOL Funny post!!