Monday, April 11, 2011

Bastard Guilt

Guilt.  Just the word implies "ugly".  I don't like it.

Ok, let's sweep it under the rug.  Nope.  It's still there.  I know it is because in my anal, obsessive-compulsive mind I'll be thinking about it all damn day.  I'll take a bath but it will ruin it for me.  A walk, fahget about it.  Ok, let's get it out from under the rug and throw it out the window.  No can do.  Now it's in the grass.  It will grow like a weed and ignore the $15 weed spray I purchased at the home improvement store.  Bastard guilt.  I hate it!

Obviously I'm not one of those easy go lucky people who let things bounce off of me.  I was raised to be a martyr.  I came from a family of martyrs...heck, I'm Catholic for Pete's sake.  It's ingrained in us.  Deep breath.

So, what do I do?  I've been fighting it for a week.  I hate doing it but today I have nothing scheduled.  Today I will clean the french windows in the study. 

2 comments:

Pat said...

My therapist told me that no one comes close to Catholics when it comes to guilt and shame. What a legacy.

Anonymous said...

I would like to leave work today! But I can't! I would both feel guilty and be guilty too! My boss may understand...she's catholic.