Sunday, March 6, 2011

Thoughts Run Blurry With a Rum Hangover

As I lie in bed this morning contemplating the thickness of my tongue and why my dog Tulip finds the taste of my big toe so enjoyable, I give silent thanks to my friends, past and present, for putting up with my antics throughout the years.

If I sound just slightly silly as I type this, it may be because I still have more than a gallon or so of rum and punch sloshing about in my body from last night's little get together. 

Before I continue with this odd, sentimental rant, I must clarify some of my vices to those concerned. I'm not an alcoholic (though the idea of becoming the next Dylan Thomas has a sad, somewhat romantic quality to it). I'm not a pothead; however, if you continue to read my blogs, you will find, from time to time, I will reference smoking an apple (my idea of a homemade bong) in my bathroom (please no gasps from my family; I have no secrets, so yes, it's true, I withdraw my bid for city council). I am not a pill popper. I have been diagnosed as Bi-Polar so if I mention taking a Valium for a panic attack, it's ok. They're prescribed.

So, back to my sentimental rant...friends, some last for years. I've reconnected on the Internet with people I used to play with under butterfly bushes in grade school. Another lives right down the highway. She and I have been at every single most important event in each other's lives. How do I quantify that in terms of love and connection?  I can't - it's simply impossible.

Others play an interesting role as friends, lovers, boyfriends, husbands (yes, I said husbands, plural).  They often start out or end up as friends, don't they? One in particular (he knows who he is) still contacts me from time to time. He plays an important role in my life and I know that if anyone hurts me in any way, he'll come out from wherever he is and kick some ass. How comforting! My ex-husband. We weren't friends at first -  just lovers and we were certainly not friends at the end of our marriage. To put it bluntly, I hated the bastard (my ex-boyfriend was on stand-by), yet now there's a deep love and friendship which I never felt for him during our marriage. Funny how that works out. My current husband and I started out as friends in high school. Close to 30 years later, I'm passionately in love with him and can't imagine sharing the agony over a broken fingernail with anyone else.

There are also those whose friendships make a huge impact in a negative way.  The girl who stood by me for years and then, one day, decided no more. No reason, no explanation, she just didn't want me in her life any longer. Those are the stingers. The kind you never recover from. 

Then there are the people I've met once or twice and instantly connected with. The lady at the spa who gave me a pedicure. We laughed and talked about our kids for an hour sharing funny stories and heart-wrenching secrets. It wasn't the standard chit-chat, it was a full, honest conversation that left us both in tears and hugging one another good-bye. Roberto, the can collector we invited into our home every Tuesday this past winter to share dinner with us. The lady who stood in front of Borders Bookstore with me complaining that it was too cold to wait for the store to open. We laughed and huddled together against the wind. Instant connections, instant friendships. 

So, last night I sat around a small Formica table with ten of my closest friends and neighbors - scratch that -  family members, dropping the "F-Bomb", leaving my inhibitions back at home with my kids sneaking naughty movies, and in general loving the fact that life is filled with so many diverse and wonderful people willing to open their hearts to a goof ball like me.

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