When my husband and I were first married, we did what most young, honeymoon couples do - we bought a small, queen sized bed. The smaller to cuddle in, right? Wrong.
Now, sixteen years, several questionable pounds, and two dogs later we have come to the conclusion that our love is just not strong enough to survive this size mattress.
Every morning, we wake up stiff and sore. Growling and griping. Gross and grisly (this would mainly be Eric). Anyway, I must admit that our dogs are very small so it would seem as if I may be going a bit overboard with my complaining. Not so. They, Tank (a Lhasa Apso), and Tulip (a Shih Tzu), are spoiled and have learned to sleep horizontally in the center of the bed. We've tried to move them in the past but to no avail. The dogs just make their way back to their spots stretching their little bodies until they're comfortable. In the meantime, Eric and I, in our muddled sleep state crawl to the foremost edges of the bed, desperate to find just a few pleasant, uninterrupted moments of slumber whereas we're not kicked in the face or trampled upon.
Cuddling. This has become a non-issue. I can't remember the last time I've had my back scratched or was snuggled by my husband. Tank, our male Lhaso Apso, must be cuddled at all times. The closest I get to being spooned is having Tank on my pillow, pawing at my hair insisting that I pet him.
Making love. Deep sigh. The spontaneity is gone. We must plan ahead and buy impressive diversions for the dogs to keep them away from us. Inevitably, we become Tulip's diversion at the most critical juncture. I can not even describe how awful it is to look up at that moment to see her eyes watching every move and examining each angle. Thank God I can't hear her critique me. She already does crap for my libido. If Eric only knew how many times I have rescued his privates from Tulip's curiosity, well...
I love my husband so much. This weekend, we're off to the mattress store. Do you think they sell anything bigger than a king?